Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
