I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
