she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I wish life had little blips of pornography
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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