I can tuck mytits in my pants
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
