theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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