12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
