New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Everything about him screamed your future.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
