question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
