How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize