She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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