If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
