If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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