so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
