you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Randomize
