im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
