and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
