Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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