That's intense
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
We need to rekindle our bromance
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
