it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
