sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
