Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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