ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I believe in your delicious
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
