She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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