OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
