is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
