Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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