Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize