What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
