Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
