We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Randomize
