I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
