i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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