she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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