It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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