You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
