Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Watching her eat just hurts me
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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