He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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