i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
