they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
