i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
