If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
