so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
