Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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