his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
