Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize