dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
