can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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