I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize