It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
