Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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