Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
