Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
